Insomnia and nightmares

[ellen_datlow]

I had insomnia last night for the first time in awhile--I think I may have drunk some very strong iced coffee (from morning leftovers) too late in the evening. I finally got to sleep then this morning was awakenend by my alarm clock by a nightmare. My dreams are rarely very detailed and I hardly ever dream in color so they're often kind of vague. Thinking about it now I realize it wasn't such a horrible dream and it's sooooo obvious. (most of my dreams deal with things that are consciously or subconsciouly troubling m):

I was walking with some friends in the horror field and then ran into some friends from the science fiction field. I was torn between the two groups and ending up being separated from the horror people. I and the sf folk went into a building where we were on some sort of entertainment reality show. I was chosen (or not) for something and escorted upstairs. The person upstairs was being very nice to me and explaining something and I woke up....It's funny, but relating it now I can't see why it was upsetting to me but at the time I KNEW it was a nightmare.

I don't need interpretations because it's obvious (and I did Jungian therapy for 3 years when I was in my late 20s): As an sf/f/h editor I am torn among the three fields --although consciously I think this is a good thing. Perhaps subconsciously I worry about it.... As far as the reality show: I'm terrified of "performing" ie. giving speeches. (yes, I'm fine with panels, discussions, interviews, workshopping, and the like--as long as I'm not alone up there and performing)....

Now I feel dumb. Is this really what people post about on their blogs? (I'll try to not do it too often! :-) )

Comments

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

I have dreams every night in color, with plot and soundtrack. Usually I know what they mean and I spend some time before I get up thinking about them. Sometimes they'd be excellent SF stories. I can lucid dream, too -- I learned that when I was a kid and had nightmares.

I only post the really interesting ones in my LJ, though, which is boring, like today -- good labs and a handyman here to do some stuff, including putting up some new hand-made paper art I had framed. I have another piece by this artist that I've had for ages and I finally found her again from her sister's website and took a drive up into the Appalachians to see her newer work and brought this piece back.