Insomnia and nightmares

[ellen_datlow]

I had insomnia last night for the first time in awhile--I think I may have drunk some very strong iced coffee (from morning leftovers) too late in the evening. I finally got to sleep then this morning was awakenend by my alarm clock by a nightmare. My dreams are rarely very detailed and I hardly ever dream in color so they're often kind of vague. Thinking about it now I realize it wasn't such a horrible dream and it's sooooo obvious. (most of my dreams deal with things that are consciously or subconsciouly troubling m):

I was walking with some friends in the horror field and then ran into some friends from the science fiction field. I was torn between the two groups and ending up being separated from the horror people. I and the sf folk went into a building where we were on some sort of entertainment reality show. I was chosen (or not) for something and escorted upstairs. The person upstairs was being very nice to me and explaining something and I woke up....It's funny, but relating it now I can't see why it was upsetting to me but at the time I KNEW it was a nightmare.

I don't need interpretations because it's obvious (and I did Jungian therapy for 3 years when I was in my late 20s): As an sf/f/h editor I am torn among the three fields --although consciously I think this is a good thing. Perhaps subconsciously I worry about it.... As far as the reality show: I'm terrified of "performing" ie. giving speeches. (yes, I'm fine with panels, discussions, interviews, workshopping, and the like--as long as I'm not alone up there and performing)....

Now I feel dumb. Is this really what people post about on their blogs? (I'll try to not do it too often! :-) )

Comments

personally...

[themadblonde]

I find them MORE interesting when I can understand them. If someone has some long vague rambling dream that may or may not be significant, _I_ find that fairly dull. But something that clearly shows how the mind translates input (stress, fears, longings) is of interest to me.

Re: personally...

[ellen-datlow.livejournal.com]

One of the most important things I learned through therapy (aside from how to deal with some familial stuff) was how "obvious" some of my dreams were. You can argue all day about how "Jungian" this or that is--I loved the idea of Jungian therapy and even kept a "dream book"--but the fact of it (for me) was that my dreams so totally obviously dredged up whatever was on my mind. (Job fears/fear of losing my parents stuff like that).

I have plenty of those.

[themadblonde]

There are a few recurring dreams I've never been able to figure out but I think they're significant. Just the other night as I was dream-shouting @ someone who'd done something stupid & mean & watching her cry, I distinctly remember thinking IN THE DREAM "huh, if this was real life I'd NEVER be able to make someone else cry." ;-)

Re: I have plenty of those.

[ellen-datlow.livejournal.com]

I've had a few recurring dreams, too. One is the telephone booth in which I cannot dial the number right no matter how many times I try. Another is (not so much any more) the old performance dream: I can't remember my lines when I'm on stage and the old math anxiety dream: I can't do the math. It's always a relief to wake up and remember: no, I am NOT in a play and no, I never ever have to take a math test again. The telephone...well, I do that on occasion even on push button phones ;-)

wow!

[themadblonde]

I am SO GLAD that I am not the only one w/ anxiety dreams about dialing a telephone! Usually is an old round dial & I'm in some kind of frantic hurry, often to the point of sobbing w/ frustration.

Why can't I have flying dreams like everybody else? ;-)

Re: wow!

[ellen-datlow.livejournal.com]

Yup. That's the one. I've rarely had flying dreams :-(