Here's the letter I'm actually sending:

April 24, 2008

UPS Corporate Headquarters
55 Glenlake Parkway, NE
Atlanta , GA 30328
United States

To whom it may concern:

I’ve used UPS pick up service for several years, but in the past year the service has become spectacularly bad. I always phoned in my pickups and although there were occasional bungles I was pretty happy with it. I decided to try your online service. A few weeks ago, I put through the order, received a tracking number and waited--I called at 7pm to find out where the driver was and was asked for my “request number.” As I had other received a tracking number, I was nonplussed, but the person on the phone managed to get some poor UPS guy out here around 9pm.

Yesterday, I was very careful when I created my online order and looked specifically for such a “request number” but no option for such a number ever came up as I filled in the online forms. So just to make sure everything was ok when the order was put through I phoned UPS to find out why I didn’t not receive an option for such a “request number” and see if I could get help for acquiring one. The person on the phone talked me through the online form --(which no place indicated that such a thing as “request number” exists) by clicking on some arcane part of the form that is a mystery…and voila! A request number was issued. So I was happy.

At least until today. At 5:08 I called UPS because guess what? NO PICKUP although I received email confirmation and online confirmation that today’s pick up (scheduled yesterday) would be by 5pm. I read my request number to the person on the phone and guess what? It’s NOT IN THE FRIGGING SYSTEM! She said she could reschedule a pickup for tomorrow and I calmly explained that it’s got to be today as I’ve been waiting ALL day for the pick up stuck in my apt and besides I was leaving town tomorrow. She said she’d call one of the drivers and have him pick the package up this evening (and that someone would call me back to confirm this).

6:05pm: After a discussion with yet another UPS minion, I discovered that there was still no record of the pick up in the system. I had to give the man on the phone my credit card info and for the privilege of the screw-up I was charged the $5+ pick up charge for same day pick rather than the $3+ charge for next day pick up ordered online. At the very least, I want that money back! This all despite the fact that I received confirmations yesterday via email and online for the initial missing pick up. Someone (supposedly) will pick up the carton by midnight. Lucky me. I’m switching over to the USPS for future pick-ups. Your service has been unbelievably awful. How do you stay in business?

A former customer


Finale: The very nice UPS man just came (8:50 pm).

From: [identity profile] julia-sevin.livejournal.com


I was so delighted to enroll with FedEx last month. We live out in the boonies - only $4 for pickups? FANTASTIC!

Until I look over the invoices (yesterday) and see that it's $12 for each ground pickup. Niiiice.

There's no way to win. Best choice for a small bookseller, IMO, is just hitting the P.O. twice a week with Media Mail and dropping non-mediamailable business things at FedEx. (I'm assuming, of course, that you have a FedEx within forty minutes of you, as I don't.)

From: [identity profile] ellen-datlow.livejournal.com


Living in NYC I don't have a car, so lugging a 30-40 pound carton around the city is NOT an option.

From: [identity profile] julia-sevin.livejournal.com


Well, you're just screwed then, arentcha?

Seriously, best of luck in finding the least of all evil solutions.
.

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