For those possessed by felines only

[ellen_datlow]

Or if you're thinking of getting a cat, the following is ALL true:
wake-up call

Comments

[sclerotic-rings.livejournal.com]

Back 25 years ago this month, my mother bought a beautiful shaded silver Persian that she named "Woodrow". Woodrow was a wonderful cat in many ways, and I've missed him immeasurably in the fifteen years since he died, but he had one habit that we were all glad he grew out of. As with most cats, he'd get bored in the middle of the night, so he'd go wandering about the house looking for someone to entertain him. Unlike most cats, though, he didn't satisfy his needs by yowling or by simply crawling into bed with the nearest person. No, he'd come into a room, purring like a badly tuned Volkswagen Microbus, and wait for the applause. If that didn't work, he'd trot to the nearest victim and jump onto his/her chest. Still no response? Time for an increase in the purr volume, with additional rubs of the victim's nose. The poor victim shows no vital signs? Now it's time to start licking the nose, and if that gains no response after all that effort, a quick chomp guarantees that Woodrow becomes the only cat in the neighborhood regularly pegged across a room at 2 in the ayem.

Suffice to say, I'm glad he didn't live to see that video. It's not that he would have picked up ideas. He would have written to the animator and suggested that it didn't go far enough.

(Now, things could always be worse. My old savannah monitor Gwangi had a thing for ripping large holes in the top of his cage, climbing out of the cage, and climbing into bed with me. He wasn't obnoxious or needy: I'd just wake up in the morning with a very large lump under the blankets that grumbled and hissed when poked. I didn't mind, though: I was still rooming with an ex-girlfriend who thought I could be a roomie "with benefits" whenever she'd strike out on a date, and Gwangi's nighttime romps guaranteed that she left me alone and let me get some sleep, especially after the time she tried to sneak into bed and the lizard nearly took her arm off. This is why I recommend reptiles as pets.)

[ellen-datlow.livejournal.com]

LOL Thank you for that!

[sclerotic-rings.livejournal.com]

Always glad to be of service. I think the biggest reason why my high school compatriots all look at me strangely when I say that I haven't had the seemingly obligatory freakout when I turned forty is because I tell them "Hey, I had a huge pile of interesting stories before I turned 25, and the pile's only gotten bigger since then." (Well, that and watching my ex-wife freak out when she turned 40 a decade ago. She earned her nickname as "the Nancy Spungen of fandom" fair and square.)

[fastfwd.livejournal.com]

You know, that's rather unkind to Nancy Spungen.

She was diagnosed a schizophrenic and really couldn't help herself because she needed someone to supervise her and make her take her meds.

(Solidarity R Us!)

[txtriffidranch.livejournal.com]

You say that, but you didn't hear my best friend (who's also Irish) openly lament that she didn't shoot up solely so he could clean his fingernails with her works. Apparently, pissing in the bottles of Crown Royal she was hiding over the sink wasn't enough for him.